Posted by: gayle(: on: June 21, 2008
Wrap me up in conversation;
It feels nice to have a morning free like that to wake up later and chill around at home; it’s been a really long time since. it feels like just a little while back i said hello to June and it’s just one more week left before July – how is it possible. Anyway, awsomeness has been: spending nights with lovely people like churchies watching kungfu panda (helluva laugh!) / tea chino @ the prata house (cooler sounding but it’s really just teh tarik) / eating durians at random void deck / candy empire shopping / yd lunch at Jack’s place :D Also, seeing old friends from a while back, seeing how we’ve all changed and catching up. A lot of girlfriend time next week lined up, :) Sometimes, it really is all better together, isn’t it.
Church camp last week (seems so long ago and it passed way too fast!) was very enjoyable stuff. Mayboo came back (: which equals to a whole lot more noise, <3. Had truckloads of yummy stuff for the tummy (gluttony) – peranakan dishes desserts and the big share of junk. I’ll miss waking up to sounds of disney channel outside in the living room, and being around crazy-eater friends (the love! :D)
But of course, the spiritual feeding. For me, a lot of it inspired action which is the best it gets i feel. practical lessons, immediately applicable if you set your heart on it and be eventually blessed by it. Things that provoked thought like human initiative Vs. divine intervention, goal setting for the second leg of 08, and on closing chapters and restarting. Also, restfulness in the finished work of Jesus on the cross.
And so i have resolved to. I am determined to now put away everything that the past months and beyond have brought – emotions that got me all tangled up, things that took so long to for me to sort out. I feel like there was a lot of fighting, losing. but ultimately finding much more, so much more. Now i’m so much clearer – about what i want, who i want to be, who i am in Christ. And oh, all the love in new ways, and patience that quietens and strengthens you from inside out.
So Half the year has gone by; 5 months left to Closure period (and my favourite) – DECEMBER (: with more settledness now i think i can walk away from it all to begin again. And here i continue to need God to light the path and pave the way. and quietness to take what he gives and give back what he wants to take.
Let’s live it well, together.
Posted by: gayle(: on: June 19, 2008
I’ll write again when i’ve gathered everything up together and sorted them out. but for now, there’s just too much and too little time and words are too troublesome anyway.
am also too sleepy.
sweet dreams, world.
Posted by: gayle(: on: June 7, 2008
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
Now we’re back to the beginning
It’s just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can’t feel it too
Doesn’t mean that you have to forget.
Posted by: gayle(: on: June 5, 2008
130608: keisha, i saw other cats in malacca and thought of you, but they couldn’t compare; i think you’re the most beautiful cat in the world.
Posted by: gayle(: on: June 4, 2008
O Light, that followest all my way
I yield my flickering torch to Thee
My heart restores its borrowed ray
That in Thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.
And O Joy, that seekest me through pain
I cannot close my heart to thee
I trace the rainbow through the rain
And feel the promise is not vain
That morn shall tearless be.
(O Love that wilt not let me go)
12:42; I was supposed to sleep early (earlier). VERY RANDOMLY:
happiness that takes you by surprise, when you don’t quite expect it.
family (and keisha) to love, and hippie, ice-cream mashing friends (:
twentyone and i think i am more ready than i’ve ever been to take flight now; perched to lift off. slowly and surely.
but always ever and only under the shadow of Your wings, please.
Patience and obedience – you are hard friends to keep. but you give peace irreplaceable, and i know better than to let you go.
Your Hand that finds mine, and holds tight.
and Your Love that bears all things; Thank You.
Things that drift away in our endless numbered days but also many held on to – the every-day victories, the carpe-diem preciousness.
June; i like the sound of June very much. Hello, June (:
Posted by: gayle(: on: May 27, 2008
P/S: keisha’s winning my heart over and over, over and over (: and
i have mummy and summer blue power.
Posted by: gayle(: on: May 26, 2008
darling keisha is chasing crushed balls of paper around my feet now; she is the sweeetest, prettiest thing trulyyy, likes my mr. bean stuffed toy, does happy purrs even after we’ve left her alone for hours, anddd has fetish for toes too, haha (: Say hello to the baby:
Posted by: gayle(: on: May 24, 2008
Can hardly contain everything on my mind – about celebrations, Japan, internship at The ascott, of little Keisha our pretty american curl cat, etc but still more than anything else, the understanding of the way the heart works, the way we have been and the way we are, and what it means to live in obedience with You.
first an understanding of what goes on within us that can move so independently of everything outside. because all through the countless blessings and wonderful, wonderful things in the past two over weeks i was actually sad somewhere i could put my finger on but couldn’t understand how i could possibly be so, how i could actually carry with me that deepening sadness that followed and followed so much in spite of. and it startled me, that even in the midst of seeing wishes fulfilled and everything i had gathered up in the past weeks coming together nicely, i could count all those blessings with fingers and so little heart, and all i thought would make me very happy, didn’t actually.
Of everything i understand, one of them is this: that slowly and surely i think God showed me what needed to change, and that outsidehappiness can only take root in a heart that’s first right with Him. it made me really, heavily sad to realize how wrong i have been in overlooking too much, for too long. and also by how deceitful the heart can be; full of grey and wrong reasons, and too many twists and turns. it made me sad and very sorry to realize that God, even in His slowness to anger, had to be the one to tell me it was time to change, and that i didn’t have the sense to do so earlier on my own accord.
although. knowing the burden of imperfection and the hopelessness of how fallen we are comes with a deeper understanding of how truly great His grace. and then finally of the hope that He makes all things beautiful, even the ugliest most unlovely things – and perfecting us always. perfecting me. So now, to look upon the cross every day knowing that i fight not for victory, but from victory. and to fight on.
When the stars are gone, You are my new day.
Posted by: gayle(: on: May 10, 2008
1.20am: 4 hours to leaving house for airport. Have finally finished my whole multitasking episode packing room/packing bags/fixing camera memory card/uploading photos/uploading music/replying messages/ ?? Am zonkedddd to the maximum, and cramps really, really almost killed me throughout the day – but, am filled to brim with (: and amazed at how the past two and half days since last exam paper has zoomed past so fast, faster than i have been able to digest it all and let the faces and everything that took place settle like snowflake memories in my mind. Am leaving for Japan for the next week, though a part of me just really wants to sit and think(back) and thank. right now i feel (almost too) indebted to God and friends; i’ll wrap things up when i come home again. For now, i leave happy knowing that i have seen all the people who mean something to me, all of whom i had carefully invited, specifically wanting him/her to be part of my memory of turning twentyone. Am glad. (: Meanwhile, allmylove.
